You’ve probably noticed there’s an election on – I’m one of the folk lucky enough to live in the Bradford West constituency that’s been presided over (somewhat elusively, from a great distance and through thick, cigar smoke) by Mr George Galloway since 2012. Mr Galloway is one of those people that inspires fondness and hate in equal measure. He’s also a man who is very fond of his hat – it has been noted that he ‘never takes the bloody thing off’. In the run up to the election I decided to take a look under George’s hat each day to see what lurks beneath that fancy Fedora. A couple of people missed ‘hat posts’ on Twitter and FB so I’ve collated them into this single post.
PS. May 8th. George Galloway, and his hat, have now been forcibly ejected from Bradford and he’s moved on to pastures new. In his final speech he likened himself to a dying lion being danced on by a laughing Hyena – I hope he finds a new career as a Disney screenwriter very soon. In the meantime he has his eye on a Mayoral hat in the Big Smoke. Here’s wishing much luck to the good folk of London in your fight to keep your hamlet Galloway free.
PPS May 11th. George seems to have a few issues about leaving Bradford, even after being defeated by the very fabulous Labour candidate Naz Shah by over 8000 votes. I guess it’s still pertinent to take an occasional peek under his hat…
11 May: It’s several days after George’s defeat in the election. Poor old George has become a bit ‘clingy’ and won’t leave so here’s a bonus look under his hat! You lucky people! O dear, he’s mistreating his toys… put them back in the pram! Naughty George….
10 May. Just when you thought it might be safe to peek under George Galloway’s hat one final time…like a spurned lover, George returns to boil Bradford’s bunny…
7 May. It’s time to take one final, poignant peek under George Galloway’s hat! O – it seems that George’s mind is being controlled by evil miniature alien cats. Meow. Remember to vote today – and not for the empty vessel controlled by miniature cats.
6 May. It’s time to have a penultimate look under George Galloway’s hat! O dear – poor old George has tried and failed to jump on the latest internet bandwagon. It’s #JeSuisEd George…. not #JeSuisEgg
I went to take a look under George Galloway’s hat tonight but he seems to have buggered off and left a Spacehopper in a false beard as a replacement. O George you are a one…
4 May. I gingerly removed George Galloway’s hat this evening to discover that he’s made an extra special effort to get in touch with his feminine side. This will surely encourage the ladies of Bradford West to vote! Why, Missy Galloway, you ARE beautiful!
3 May. I thought I’d take a brunch-time look under George Galloway’s hat. O dear – George has been reduced to shopping for his own underpants. You’ve got them on the wrong end George…bless
2 May. I snook a sneaky peek under George Galloway’s hat this evening to find that George has undergone a few interesting body modifications! O he’s emulating one of his favourite Star Wars ‘heroes’! Looking good George – or should we call you Daft Maul…
1 May. I summoned the courage to peek under George Galloway’s hat today and was taken aback to find a vast number of Galloways trailing off into infinity! Sod off George – that’s just creepy…
30 April. I prised George Galloway’s Fedora off his sweaty scalp tonight to find him waving a stick at a pair of determined ‘Rozzers’ in hot pursuit! Goodness me George, did you steal those sausages?
29 April. I suppose it’s probably time to look under George Galloway’s hat. O it’s just George in a silly costume hiding behind a pile of pies…but why is that cricket so pissed off with you George…and what’s happened to your nose? Sometimes looking under Georges hat poses more problems than it solves!
28 April. I looked under George Galloway’s hat today to find him paying his respects to a grieving Orville. You’re all heart George.
27 April. Today under George Galloway’s hat….! George is taking us over the Rainbow!! In fact he’s crowdfunding (again….) this time for ‘a Brain’, ‘a Heart’, ‘the Nerve’ and a splendid new ‘home’ in London…but George you already have a bloody nerve….
26th April. I think it’s time to have a leisurely Sunday look under George Galloway’s hat. O look it’s George & Zippy – but what do you mean you’ve had to “block Zippy”? Sometimes I wish you had a zip George.
I gingerly lifted George Galloway’s hat this evening to find an agonised George re-enacting Munch’s ‘The Scream’! Turn that frown upside down George!
Let’s have a sneaky peek under George Galloway’s hat? Ooh what’s this? A lovely children’s bedtime story with you as the hero…? O dear George – misjudged it again…
Let’s have another late night peek under George Galloway’s hat. O! It’s a fancy-pants old rat dressed up as a Mayor! I don’t think rats are allowed to be Mayors. Silly old George with your wild imagination!
22 April. I tentatively lifted George Galloway’s hat today to discover St George of Galloway, in gleaming armour, bravely lancing a kitten through it’s fluffy heart. What would we do without you to protect us St George?
21 April. I usually wait until morning but as an experiment I’m going to take a late night look under George Galloway’s hat. Why! It’s George as a beautiful but menacing Queen admiring himself in a magical mirror…sometimes the contents of your hat are too disturbing even for me George…
21 April. I looked under George Galloway’s hat today and was dazzled (!!) by a gleaming, “Golden Galloway” towering over City Park. Was that your idea George?
20 April. Let’s see what’s under George Galloway’s hat today? It’s George! He looks so happy in his smart uniform driving the Bradford West Gravy Train! Well done George!
18 April. Today I peeked under George Galloway’s hat and discovered a bejewelled and be-feathered circus pony smoking a big cigar! Do you know any other tricks Pony – or just that one?
16 April. Today I looked under George Galloway’s hat and was nonplussed to find two ferrets doing slinky dancing for a feline Godfather in his treasure room…
15 April. What’s under George Galloway’s hat today? O it’s the magnificent English coronation crown. Silly George, your head is just too big for that little crown.
14 April. I looked under George Galloway’s hat today and was delighted to see a host of colourful balloon animals floating off into the air. Don’t ever lose that famous sense of fun George!
13 April. I just peeked under George Galloway’s hat and, blow me, if there wasn’t a splendid red breasted Turdus Migratorius pulling a worm from one of George’s old cans of Whiskas
12 April. I looked under George Galloway’s hat today and was surprised (!!) by an ill mannered, vintage Jack in the Box smoking a cigar.
11 April. I looked under George Galloway’s hat today and was troubled to find the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse chasing a kitten. Run Kitten Run.
10 April. Today I looked under George Galloway’s hat and found this sad faced potato. Don’t cry potato.
9th April There’s been a lot of talk about George Galloway’s hat… Why doesn’t he take it off? Today I can exclusively reveal that he’s been nurturing a clutch of delicate young chicklings…Awww he’s all heart!!! Tune in tomorrow to see what else might be under George Galloway’s hat…